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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

We think we know people

I do it all the time. Look at someone in the grocery store - nice clothes, expensive-looking leather purse, neat hairstyle, perfect skin, new SUV in the parking lot. That person has their life together. I walk past that house on Lincoln Street - junk all over the yard, paint peeling off the house, blinds hanging crooked in the window, miscellaneous pieces of furniture and appliances on the front porch. Those people need some help.

I even do it at church. That 25 year old with two kids - new spring dress, well-behaved energetic children, handsome husband, new minivan. That person has the American dream all wrapped up. The childless couple who is really involved in church - nice new clothes, good jobs, lots of energy, extra time for friends, don't want kids. That couple wants for nothing.

Recently, its become clear to me that my assumptions are often, probably more frequently than I realize, way off base.

The woman in the grocery store is wishing her husband would work less and be home more. She feels empty inside and wishes he realized she didn't want his money as much as she wanted his time. She's lonely.

The people who live on Lincoln Street simply don't have a lot of money. It isn't that they have drug or alcohol problems. They've simply come across hard times for one reason or another. But even though they don't have much and can't afford to paint their house, they are happy. Nice people sometimes live in bad-looking houses.

The 25 year old with two kids just had a miscarriage. She's grateful for the two she has, but is silently mourning the one she could not keep. She feels guilty and constantly thinks through things she could have done to save her baby.

The childless couple has been praying for years for children. They dreamed of having a big family, but now their prayers are for just one tiny little heartbeat. They would give all their money to just be able to hear that little thumpthumpthump.

These are all examples of people that I actually know. Let me rephrase, these are all people who I have recently come to realize I have badly misjudged. And what about all the other people in my life. I think I know them, but really, do I? I'm taking some time this week to throw my assumptions out the window. It will take some time to get used to it. I still have my immediate impressions of people I meet and people I know. But with some work, I can carefully clean the tainted glasses through which I see the world.

What do you assume?

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