Happy 13, Reagan!

Dear Reagan,

Today you are officially a teenager.  I don’t really know how it is possible that thirteen years have passed since the first time I saw your face.  Perhaps time is harder to mark because parenting you has not been an enormous challenge.  That’s not to say I always know what I am doing (I don’t), but that you are such a great kid and there hasn’t been a lot of struggle.  Here’s a little bit about thirteen-year-old you.

You are the most responsible kid I have ever encountered.  The times I have to tell you to do something are few and far between.  You thrive on rhythm and routine and schedule.  You manage your own spaces, your own homework, and your own chores with almost no input from me.  We hear the same from your teachers and pretty much everyone who interacts with you.  We know we can trust you to do whatever it is that you need to do and I am impressed by the mature way witch which you handle your life.

You also love to organize and “declutter”.  I have no idea where you get this from (hahaha).  One of your favorite things to do is to clean out and organize a space.  I happen to love this.  Your siblings are less enamored with your talent to “get rid of things” and your offers to help them clean their rooms are met with less than enthusiastic responses.  Here’s the hidden gem in all of that – you are extremely content.  You almost never WANT anything.  Even if someone offers to buy you something you politely decline.  Coming up with wish lists for you for birthdays and Christmas is almost impossible because you simply don’t really feel like you want or need anything other than what you have.  It isn’t that you have so very many things, but that you are so at ease with the material belongings you do have.  It’s an amazing quality to have and one I hope you hold onto for many years to come.

We really can’t talk about who you are without mentioning your musical talent.  There are many times we hear a song on the radio in the car and when I come in the house you are sounding it out on the piano.  I’ve heard you playing songs from The Greatest Showman on your trumpet before which you just “figured out”.  You are also a lovely singer.  We are super proud of the hard work you put into your music and just as thrilled that you love it as much as you do.  The combination of your innate abilities and your work ethic are blazing a trail of music success in your life.

Its funny to watch you out and about other places because you are so much quieter than you are at home.  I realize that is true of a lot of kids and its certainly true for you.  At home you can be a complete goofball sometimes and you love to tease your siblings and your Dad.  But that is the last thing you would do at school.  You’d much rather fly under the radar there.  I get it.  But I hope you realize that most people really like you because you are just so kind.  Don’t be afraid to be yourself because you are extremely sweet and likable.

You get along really well with Hunter and pretty good with Maddie.  You are their big sister leading the way and truthfully, they could not have a better example.  You set the bar high, but you never lord it over them.  You are the voice of reason in almost every conflict.  You are fair and calm.  You are a peacekeeper.  And they both love you more than I can put into words. 

You genuinely love small children and because of your calm, quiet nature they love you as well.  You have a gentle and unobtrusive way with kids that is far beyond me.  You still say you would like to be a teacher and I can totally see that in you.  You would be a great teacher because in a lot of ways you already are. 

One of my other favorite qualities about you is your wisdom.  This isn’t something that I anticipated noticing in my 13-year-old child.  I sort of expected to be seeing a lot of poor decisions.  And yeah, there are a few every now and then.  But for the most part you make really good choices.  That gives me so much peace about you.  It also affects every other part of your life.  It makes you genuine, compassionate, and honest.  A little while back you got left out of a friend thing.  You got in the car after school and talked quietly about it.  You weren’t angry.  You weren’t bitter.  You weren’t shocked or surprised or upset.  When you got done telling me about what was going on you said very quietly, “I’m just a little sad today.”  You seemed to know it was a low moment and that it would go away.  You didn’t hold a grudge against anyone.  You just accepted a situation and admitted feeling low.  This blew me away.  I still shake my head when I think about it.  You already are the kind of young woman that I would want you to be.

I love how solid you are.  I love how calm and even-keeled you are.  I wish I could say that was something you learned from me but…yeah, we both know it isn’t.

You still love legos, polar bears, soccer and twist donuts.  You prefer raw crunchy veggies to just about all other foods (another thing you did not inherit from me).  You like reading mysteries and your favorite subject at school is Bible.  You love Jesus and your family.  Your favorite colors are pink and turquoise.  You love comfy clothes and a tidy room.  You make 13 look fun instead of awkward.

Last week you got your braces off after over 4 years of ortho appointments, rubber bands, expanders, etc.  I didn’t get to see you until late that evening at a concert.  Oh Reagan, you are so beautiful.  You always have been.  But you are growing into such a lovely young woman.  I know how easy it is to doubt that.  I know how easy it is to feel self-conscious about your appearance.  But believe me when I say that you are pretty on the outside and even more beautiful on the inside.  All that is good in you shines through.  It still weirds me out that you are almost as tall as me, that I have to shop in the women’s department for your clothes, and that we have the same shoe size.  But seeing you becoming you is awesome and I wouldn’t trade the YOU you are becoming for anything in the world. 

I love you more than you will ever know.

Love,

Mom