It's been a while.
As a way of catching up, I will now give you a three sentence update on life. The kids are all healthy and doing well and keeping us busy. Life is not always easy, but we feel blessed. We are building a house.
Hm. Yes. We. Are. Building. A. House. Brian probably says that slowly in his mind every single day. More on that another day.
One of the downfalls of summer (let's be honest, it's really my fault) is that things sort of slide. I got busy doing other stuff - and got busy letting stuff go because it was summer and time to relax. We definitely relaxed. The summer slide for Moms has left me sort of off. I have been faithfully doing what needs to be done. I make the meals, I clean the house, I do the laundry. My to do list is pretty much spot-on. Doing great. Check Suzie-Homemaker off the list. But spiritually I went through the summer slump. By the end of September, I was feeling pretty lukewarm. And then the girls in my small group suggested we do the book "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God" by Lysa Terkurst. I sat down and read the first chapter and got really hacked off. At me.
You see, amidst all the doing I had forgotten to just be. I had taken life into my own hands and had decided I was pretty capable of taking care of everything. The devotional life had slipped. The prayer life was pretty lax. And I had gotten to the place where I didn't trust God to handle anything because I was depending on myself. It was easier and "safer". As we (desperately needing a catchy name) sat and discussed the first chapter I admitted to these other Godly women that I just really didn't trust God to "handle it". And in the next breath I sort of whined about how I wasn't feeling His reassurance.
Which is when one of my friends said, "If God is going to confirm something to me, He's going to do it through His Word."
I would have fallen out of the booth at the coffee shop if she hadn't been sitting next to me.
It was like a profound brick. And a sort of slap-your-hand-to-your-forehead moment. Here I am looking at my shriveled-like-a-hosta-in-the-fall faith wondering what happened when she basically turned the hose on full blast and sprayed me in the face.
Perhaps I have a thirsty soul and am in need of living water.
It's time to wake up a bit and stop taking control. Let it go. Pray that little girl who is shy and struggles to make friends all the way down the driveway and onto the bus. Pray that preschooler who skips all the way into the preschool building with her hair flying in the wind will always keep her light joyful spirit. Pray that little baby man who has the greatest pouty lip in all the world will keep growing and thriving. Pray that husband who leaves before anyone else is out of bed in the morning will have a great day and come home safe and sound. And open the Word. Breathe in some Life each day. Take a drink.
Fall (I'm simply willing it to be here) is a great time to turn over a new leaf.