Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Lately, I am lost in thought. And it always happens when I check on facebook. My most favorite feature of facebook would have to be the photos. I have friends all over the country who have the most adorable and beautiful children and I simply LOVE looking at the photos and admiring their sweet families. I also have friends all over the country who are single (all girls, don't worry!) who have the most exciting and fun social lives and I simply LOVE looking at the photos of all their adventures.

Its those single women and their crazy fun photos that really make me think. They are in that stage of life - that stage that I wished away all too quickly. They are at that point in their journey where really, anything and everything could happen. Some of them are dating the guys of their dreams. Others are just patiently and prayerfully waiting for God to bring them that special someone. Others are completely and perfectly content all by themselves. They are seeing life through an entirely different lens. Not the wife lens or the mommy lens. And its awesome to see how they are able to serve and love their friends and family with such freedom and joy.

You know what else is amazing? How good they look! Honestly! I'm not in a lot of pictures anymore...mostly because I spend the majority of my time wearing clothes that should NOT be preserved for memory in a photograph. I am fortunate to get a shower - the hair doesn't get blown dry and how it air dries is pretty much how it will look until 7 AM the next day. Lord willing. Makeup? Pfff. Makeup is only for when I am leaving my house and will most likely be seen by another human being. Another human being who cares more about my appearance than my ability to hand out fruit snacks. Motherhood lately has not been a very aesthetically pleasing time of life.

My mind wanders back to the time when I was in college and the year after college when I was dating Brian. I didn't realize it then, but I now see how much value I took in my appearance. In a good way. I tried. Not all that hard because I was significantly lighter, with remarkably clearer skin, and had easily managed fantastically shiny non-highlighted hair. I would get up and actually make myself look nice. Yeah, there were the days of the early morning classes (would I ever like to go back in time and tell college-me that 8 AM is not actually all that early) where I would pretty much go to class in clothing that could be considered pajamas. I carefully considered what jeans looked best, what shirt was most flattering, what makeup made my eyes stand-out. And, get this, I may have even matched my undies.

My current go-to must-have mom-clothes are yoga pants. So so sexy. No. So so stretchy. See back then, I chose clothes based on what would look good and never considered "washability" or "comfort" or "ability to hide stains". Those 3 pretty much determine my daily attire nowadays.

There's that nasty phrase in the world. You know the one. HE/SHE REALLY LET HIMSELF/HERSELF GO. Go where? Trust me, if I was GOING somewhere I would look better!

So really, why am I so surprised when Brian comes home and I feel like the hobo that lives in his house and feeds and cleans his children more than I feel like his WIFE? I know many ladies feel my pain here. I know, too, that there is a practicality and an ease to wearing "house clothes". I know. But I don't feel all that good about myself when I do nothing. I'm not alone in that feeling.

I'm drifting, so back on point here. Which is this: I miss the days when I dressed up for my boyfriend. And I'm thinking its time I dressed up for my "boyfriend" again. I'm guessing he'd be willing to overlook the kid-sludge that inevitably ends up on my shoulder if I was wearing something no one could construe as pajamas. Even though I'm in the LOOK AT THE PICTURES OF MY KIDS stage of life on facebook, really, is there any reason I can't also be in the LOOK, I GOT DRESSED THIS MORNING stage of life too?


Laura K. said...

Jean! Put this one in your book! I love it. You just described to a "T" everything I am thinking too. ;) love ya girl!

Amber said...

you always are able to articulate just how I am feeling. I can totally relate to the "hobo" comment! :) Hilarious!

Jana said...

YES! I completely understand this. I go to school with lots of 24 and 25 and 26 year olds who don't have kids...and boy, do they look great. I'm lucky I can squeeze into my big jeans. Sigh.

Miz Jean said...

Laura - my book! I love you for that comment!

Amber - we are in a very similar situation, I think! Hobos unite!

Jana - I cannot imagine being surrounded by pretty 20-somethings. I've retired way too many jeans myself these past few weeks/months!

Stephanie said...

Oh you're singing my song sister! I think it would do me good to dress up a little more for my boyfriend too :) Imagine my pain when I go to visit my boyfriend at his job and I'm surrounded by hundreds of beautiful, young and thin teenage girls. Not good for the self esteem! Praise the Lord for a boyfriend who loves me unconditionally, through every age and stage!