I'm probably not very well known for keeping my business to myself. Especially here. Where I publish a LOT of my business on the WORLD WIDE WEB because...well...its masochistic I suppose. But I do largely post things that I find entertaining or amusing or informative. If I didn't, you wouldn't read. However, those entertaining, amusing and informative annecdotes often involve (a) me embarassing myself silly, (b) my husband's witty comments and actions, or (c) my daughters' newest tricks and stunts. Its the latter that makes me wince a bit.
For some time I have known that there would be a day (Jeremy Camp was right) when I would probably have to shut it up a bit. Meaning, there would be a day that Reagan and Madison would no longer be amused by me spilling the beans about what they did today, humorous tho it may be, to all of you fine folks. Now, we aren't quite there yet. Reagan is still convinced every baby on t.v. is Madison and every blonde-headed girl is Reagan. So she's not so concerned about being in the public eye. And currently Madison is one of the biggest flirts you have every seen because she flashes a million-dollar smile at anyone who will coo at her. Clearly, she learned that from me. Someday, though, a filter will need to be implemented. Gulp.
Today, today, today, was one of those days. It. Was. Ugly. I wanted to cry at supper, but I was too far past crying. Instead I just hung my head and said to Hubby, "I have never had a day like this. Never." And I hesitate to tell you all that because I don't want you to think badly of my daughter. I don't want this to be a place where I come to write and complain about her. Because someday I think she'll probably read some of this. But also, I don't want to talk about the day because I can't figure out if it was me, or if it was her, or both. I've been trying to figure out just what went wrong, but no answers are coming. It appears to be one of those days that will forever be unexplained and better off forgotten. And I hate that too because I don't want to wish away these sweet days with these sweet little girls. Even if today wasn't all that sweet, I still know its precious in its own way.
I have a friend who always impresses me by never really "complaining" about her kids. Quite frankly, I'm in awe of the way she talks about them. She doesn't blame things on them. She doesn't sigh an exasperated sigh of relief and joy when they go to school. She doesn't let on that they annoy her or get on her nerves. Instead she chooses to speak positively of them and frequently talks about how much she enjoys spending time with them. Its been an awesome example to me. One that has really challenged me as a mom with two little ones.
So yeah, today stunk. But I'm going to chalk it up to one off day and hope that tomorrow will be better. I really am looking forward to greeting both my little ones tomorrow morning with kisses and hugs and smiles - like I do every morning. Because even when its a bad day...I'd rather spend it with them than anyone else in the world.