Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Repeat after me: DOCTOR

I've had a lot of dental work done. A lot. If you haven't seen my teeth (and why should you?), then you are in for a surprise. I say this to a new dentist every time I go "I've had a lot of work done." They all brush it off. Then I open my mouth and they say, "Oh. Wow. You HAVE had a lot of work done." Yeah. Thanks. I noticed. The worst visit to the dentist was after I graduated college when I was diagnosed with no less than 8 cavities. I nearly begged for dentures. Evidently, Kool-aid, while a cheap beverage, is not so good for the pearly whites. Duly noted. The pain I endured in the 3 subsequent visits further cemented this kool-aid hate in my psyche.

So you see, dental appointments are no small deal in my world. I floss every day. I brush twice a day. I use a flouride rinse every night. I mean, its like studying for a test. So, I was lying in bed Sunday night considering this upcoming dentist appointment and making mental notes:

- brush your teeth really well in the morning
- take your toothbrush along to work so you can brush right before the appointment
- do not under any circumstances call the dentist by his first name like you did a few years ago (oy, that was embarrassing!)

Etc. Etc.

For some reason, the day I said "Hey Jeff!" instead of "Hey Dr. Smith!" has stuck in my head as one of cringe-moments. Honestly, it was terrible. He probably ordered that root canal as payback. Oh no, I'm just kidding. He wouldn't do that. But seriously, I hate that I just flippantly called him by his first name when he worked stinkin' hard to earn the "doctor" label.

Most of you think I'm crazy.

You're right.

Monday, I sat there whilst the hygenist cleaned my teeth. I cringed when she sprayed that ice-cold water on my oh-so-sensitive teeth. She asked me to turn toward her for the millionth time. And then there he was - leaning over me.

"Hi Jean."

"Hi Jeff."

Oh, of all things. Did I seriously just do it AGAIN? Are you freaking kidding me? Oh, come on! We talked about this! I did it again. Didn't I? Yes, I think I did. I insulted the guy AGAIN? I so don't want another root canal!

I apologized immediately and called him by his rightful title. He smiled and laughed it off.

I was horrified. It will probably happen again.


Laura K. said...

I am laughing so much right now! I was not expecting that punchline, that you called him Jeff again. HA HA HA HA HA!!!! seriously, when is your book of short stories going to print? I would buy many copies. Oh boy. You are hilarious. Why do you even know your dentists first name so well? go to church together? that is funny. I can't stop laughing. love you Jean.

Miz Jean said...

Oh Laura, you flatter me so. Yes, the question is why on earth do I even know his name?? I have no idea. We are not friends - which makes the "jeff" thing so much more embarrassing.