I may have mentioned it to a few people...okay, fine, everyone who even so much as makes eye contact with me or passes me on the sidewalk knows that Hubby is out of town...for 6 whole days and 5 nights. For those who want to know, he is attending some software training conference in Denver. Truth be told, it sounds incredibly boring. Have fun, honey!
Anyway...he left Sunday morning. Reagan and I got all dressed up and ready for church and said goodbye to him on our way out the door. Her goodbye was more in the form of pushing away from his embrace because the child hates to be withheld in any way, shape or form. My goodbye was more in the form of kiss, hug, rapid blinking away of tears. And that was that. We hopped in the car and sped off to church.
I’m just a big wimp about it. This husband-traveling business happens to so many women and they all handle it with much more grace, confidence and gusto than I am managing to muster. The words roll of their lips, “Oh John is out of town this week.” Whereas my pronouncement of husbandlessness is more along the lines of, “I’m doing my best just to hold myself together. Hubby is going to be gone for 6 days. SIX DAYS! I just don’t know how I’ll manage. I’m focusing on taking it one day at a time.”
So many of my friends have been so incredibly warm and generous and have invited us over for dinner or offered to care for Reagan if I needed to run some errands. My Mom is even planning a possible overnight trip to help me out for a day. I am so very touched by all these gestures of compassion. They haven’t laughed at me or told me I’m being ridiculous. When I told one friend at church about what a wuss I was she shook her head and said, “No no. You’re not. Its hard.”
Part of me says YEAH! It is hard. Its hard when the person you have in your life there to help you along throughout the day is absolutely not even remotely able to help you with basic day-to-day things. It isn’t that he could just run home and take care of something. We really operate as a team in our house and I can tell you that playing this game solo is quite a daunting prospect for me.
And the other part of me says GOOD GRIEF, GROW UP ALREADY. Especially when I think of all the men and women in our country who send spouses away for a whole year. And what’s more, they send them away to a war. They say goodbye to their significant other and hello to the nightmare of wondering if they will ever see them again. My husband is in a conference room in Denver, sitting amongst computers and whatnot. Their partners are sitting in tanks, tents, and barracks amongst hostile enemies with deadly weapons. I have no idea how these families do it. I don’t know how they let them go. I don’t know how they sleep at night. I don’t know how they raise children all by themselves.
Obviously, my plight is not nearly so dramatic or stressful. I don’t sit around waiting for days for an email or a letter or a phone call. Hubby will call me every night - if for nothing more than to just check in. I can reach him at any hour of the day if I needed to. He’s safe and secure in a lavish hotel suite.
I know in my head I’ll be just fine. I know that I can handle taking care of myself and Reagan. I know that it is possible and that I have the capabilities needed for these responsibilities. And I know that Friday night Hubby will return and life will return to normal again. In all likelihood this week will go by quickly and I will have stressed and complained for absolutely nothing.
But in the meantime, I still miss my other half. And I realize now how much I truly take for granted each day. It’s a lot. Reagan and I are both looking forward to his return!