I get this question a lot. Sometimes it is from acquaintances and sometimes from complete strangers. The answer as of today is officially 9 weeks (or somewhere around 64- 63 days) left. However, that is not nearly as interesting as some of the things people have said to me after my answer.
Complete stranger (client) in my office: You'll never make it.
Complete stranger (client) in my office: You won't make it to Halloween.
Complete stranger (client) in my office: There must be three of four in there.
Complete stranger (client) in my office: Good luck with that!
Family member: Are you sure you aren't due next month?
Family member: So its twins then?
Friend: Oh, that time will just go so fast!
Friend: You look fantastic.
Hubby: Does that mean you will get progressively more lazy throughout the next two months?
As you can see, the range is wide. My friends are great so far. Complete strangers are, for some reason, the most rude people on earth. Typically their comments send me straight home to ask hubby if I indeed look like I am carrying quadruplets. He is always quite reassuring and tells me I am doing just fine and that I am not an elephant. But nonetheless, it shakes me momentarily. I can laugh it off with the best of them. These rude strangers never see the girl who runs to her desk and stares down at her stomach wondering what would make them say such a thing?
I'm not mad at these people. I know they are only trying to show me some kind of support or encouragement. I know they don't have a clue how rude they are being. I know they would never dream of saying things like that if they knew what kind of effect it had on people. I actually handle it pretty well. I don't burst into tears or even really think that I am getting fat. But I will admit, I have been tempted to teach these people a lesson on occasion. Really, what would they do if I DID burst into tears? Would they suddenly see the error in their ways? Would there be a light bulb moment? Would they apologize?
Of course along similar lines, when we were trying (for years) to start a family we got endless questions about when on EARTH we were going to have children. Those comments often left very deep wounds. Those comments did send me home in tears. Those comments were 100% inappropriate. And honestly, I don't think that is anyone's business. My skin got fairly thick because of all those comments and that could well be the reason why I am not affected as much by these comments.
Regardless, it is good to remember that often the things we say to someone else, while completely innocuous to us, can be hurtful, if not devastating, to others. And none of this is limited to having children or trying to have children. That is merely my experience. Its actually frightening to think about how many times in one week we make a comment that has the potential to be hurtful. We never know how the person on the receiving end will process what we say. We never know what they are going through or have been through - even when we think we do. We never understand what someone else is feeling. So in my opinion, its better to ere on the side of caution and say something sweet and loving, rather than something "funny". Remember, even if they laugh now, they might cry later.
No comments:
Post a Comment