When in doubt, blame the neighbors!

I'll admit that there have been many times when I have wondered what exactly happened to our Osama to make him so utterly senseless as to fly into a window repeatedly day-in day-out. I've spent some minutes pondering the tragedy that must have befallen him to make him irritate us so. Perhaps he ran full speed into some obtrusive object in his path. Perhaps he took a tumble from some lofty height. Perhaps he is the product of two robins too closely related. I never truly thought I would KNOW the reason for his pathetic behavior - it was merely a point of curiosity. Wonder no more.

Brian is out mowing our lawn. Our friendly Korean neighbor comes trotting over to chat with him (this is not terribly normal). If I could type in a Korean accent, I would. But I'll leave that up to your imagination.

Korean Neighbor: So, I see you have a robin flying into your window! Ha ha.
B: Yes, I hate that thing. I'm trying to get rid of it.
KN: Yes. My daughter found him years ago after he had fallen out of his nest. She fed him bread and milk everyday.
B: Really.
KN: Yes. For years he flew into our window every spring. Now he is flying into yours. Ha ha.
B: I'm trying to kill it.
KN: No! You can't kill it.
B: If I get my hands on it I will.
KN: Oh that would be bad.
B: I don't want him to damage my windows.
KN: He wouldn't do that! Just a little robin.
B: Don't care.

There you have it. Osama was dropped on his head as a very small "child". While this may invoke waves of sympathy and pity in your heart - just remember that you are sitting very much NOT by my basement windows. After you have watched a bird slam and thump and flutter himself into your window hundreds (literally) of times, you too would lose that pity.

Really, we are being kind. He is obviously not well. He must be put out of our...er...his misery as soon as possible. Trouble is, we don't know quite how to do that. Suggestions anyone?