I’m having a lightbulb moment this afternoon. I think the most soothing thing you can do for a crabby person is to identify out loud that you understand they are crabby. They don’t want you to DO anything. They just want you to know how upset they are. Their goal is to bring the same despair and frustration they are feeling into the lives of others. Crabbiness cannot be described in any other way. And I have discovered that every time I call someone on it, they admit it and are more able to move on and repair their messy mood. Please take note that labeling someone as crabby has to be done very carefully. But there are certain tricks - ways to smooth it over.
- Do not unjustly and flagrantly accuse someone of being crabby - you need valid proof that someone is crabby before you label them as such. Stomping, slamming doors, and throwing things are all signs. Rolling the eyes or sighing is not just cause.
- Be gentle and understanding when informing your friend, spouse, boss or family member that they have gotten their crabby point across.
- Never actually use the word "crabby" in anyone’s presence. It carries negative connotations and it is only a word we use when describing ourselves.
- Every once in a while this will blow up in your face - plan for the worst and hope for the best. Always have an escape route available. Backup comments are a useful weapon as well (ie: I was just joking!!).
- Phrase your comments like this: "I understand that you are upset/frustrated/angry and I just don’t know how to help you right now"
- Do not, under any circumstances, ignore these people. Crabby people hate nothing more than to be ignored. In fact, it makes them MORE crabby.
If we could each rid the world of one crabby person, imagine what a better place this would be. I have done my part for the day. Now its your turn.
By the way, since I wrote this, I know all these tricks so never try any of them on me.
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