Happy 16th Birthday, Reagan!

Dear Reagan,

Today you are 16 years old.  Every year the beautiful girl that God made you to be shines a little bit brighter and clearer.  Somehow, we went from the little girl who loved to design epic villages out of every block, doll and tiny toy we owned to this gorgeous girl who is confident and strong in ways that continually amaze me.

Over the past year it has been so much fun to watch you find joy in playing tennis.  You hoped you would make varsity as a freshman and with the encouragement of many of the older girls on the team, you accomplished your goal.  You played every match with a wonderful balance of competitiveness and respect.  Many times you would offer a smile or a word of encouragement to your opponent.  Your teammates modeled this well for you – encouraging you even as there is competition on the team for the different spots.  You even got in the top 6 and played singles.  I froze myself silly at most of your matches but loved watching you play.

You are one smart cookie, but mostly you excel academically because you work so very hard at your schoolwork.  We rarely have to tell you to do your homework.  More often than not we have to tell you that you need to put the work aside and go to bed!  You love to get good grades and there’s a large part of you that wants that perfect score.  The trouble is perfection is an unattainable goal. 

No one who knows you could forget your incredible musical talent.  Whether it’s piano or trumpet, you have such a gift and a passion for music.  We recently got a new piano and the hours you have spent sitting there and filling our home with such beautiful music are too many to count.  You continually experiment with songs on the piano and sometimes create medleys of two songs that are so seamless I have to pay attention to realize what I am hearing.  You auditioned for All-State Honor Band again this year.  You took impossibly hard music and taught yourself.  You worked at it for months.  And then you walked in that room and delivered an impressive audition.  I’m so proud of you for how hard you worked and all that you achieved. 

You have a grace and a maturity that are so far beyond your years.  Your emotions are smooth and you have very little time for drama.  Somehow at your age you are able to step back from a situation and analyze it.  You are unspeakably patient…especially with me.  You are gentle with all people almost all of the time (the exception: your sister).  You are responsible and capable and trustworthy.  You think through details and consequences.

At the same time, you are fun to be around.  You love to be involved in activities at school.  You enjoy spending time with different groups of friends.  You attend and cheer on your siblings in their sporting events.  Independence does not scare you at all, but you also enjoy hanging out with your family. 

You love board games and gummy candy.  You enjoy working at Jaarsma Bakery and making money (but not spending it).  You love hoodies and leggings and nice tennis shoes.  You like organizing and tidying up a space but you never make your bed.

This summer you went to the MOVE Conference in Chicago with a group of girls from our church.  We missed you like crazy and were counting the days till you came home.  When you got back you were quiet.  I learned that you spent the week quietly processing and growing in your faith.  That’s you in a nutshell.  Present but not loud.  Listening but not oversharing.  Processing but not unfeeling. 

Your sense of justice is strong.  Super strong.  You have always been a kid who knows right from wrong and steers far clear of wrong.  You seem to go through your life like there are no gray areas.  But I want to speak truth to you.  Reagan, have grace for yourself.  It’s not a matter of IF, but WHEN you make a mistake.  You will mess up at times (and I’m not talking about playing the wrong scale for an honor band audition).  You will make mistakes and your life will hit wrong notes sometimes.  And just like with music, the song shouldn’t stop when you miss a note.  Keep going.  Forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and move on.  Life is about making mistakes now and then and finding forgiveness and hope in God’s goodness and grace.  Forgive yourself for all the times that you learn you aren’t perfect.  Celebrate who God created you to be.  And remember that you are always irrevocably loved.

The song can still be beautiful even with a few off notes here and there.

I love you!

Love,

 

~Mom