Five!!

Dear Hunter,

Five years have gone by in the blink of an eye.  Five years ago you were placed in my arms and I fell head over heels in love with you.  I remember gazing at your chubby little face, staring at all 9 pounds 13 ounces of you, and wondering what the future would hold for you.  I could not have imagined the sweet, silly little boy you would grow into.

You continue to have an enormous vocabulary.  I continue to blame your older sisters who tend to talk a lot.  We have a lot of good conversations, you and I.  When we ride in the car sometimes we talk and sometimes we sing.  You love to sing with the radio and have an uncanny knack for instantly memorizing songs. 

Your imagination is great.  You can play for hours on end downstairs or in your room.  Your toys of choice are pretty much anything with wheels.  Tractors (red ones especially) are your favorite.  Construction vehicles are always a big hit.  Cars and trucks and four-wheelers are all in the mix too.  This past year your love of legos has definitely grown.  Building and designing has become a special talent of yours.  I love to see you create nifty little inventions and then listen to your excited explanations.

Many evenings you can be found at the kitchen table with a crayon, pencil or marker in your hand.  You like to draw.  But it’s the giving of those artistic wonders that you love most.  You make cards for your family and your friends.  This is such a sweet side of you – that you want to give of your heart in this little way. 

You love chocolate but hate mint.  You love to be chased and tickled.  You think toots and burps are hilarious.  You love it when your Dad pitches to you and you can hit the ball.  You love red.  Your football jammies are your favorite.  You are a unique blend of so many nifty things.

Right now as I am writing this you are in time out in your room.  Though you can be sweet and loving, you can also be head-strong, obstinate and difficult.  I get the best of you, but sometimes I also get the worst of you.  I pray daily that you will learn to control your temper and that you will figure out how to manage life’s disappointments with grace and patience.  Because you are the youngest, there are lessons that you did not get to learn with little siblings.  You’ve had two sisters who have loved you and given you such patient time and attention for five years.  And that is good.  But you are also struggling to understand how to be patient, forgiving and gentle with kids who are younger than you.  I’m trying so hard to help you, Hunter.  But this is a hard road for both of us.

Respect is a big deal for you.  You love to make people laugh but you hate to be laughed at.  This is a fine line.  I love your sense of humor.  I love the way you can be silly and can lighten the mood in our family.  And I understand how you despise being teased by your sisters.  Our words to you and about you matter so much more than they used to.  We are learning to treat you with the respect you so desire.

You are a great helper around our house.  You love to do jobs with me or Dad.  You love to help me bake.  You love to help Dad wash the car.  And we love having you with us in these little jobs.  You are very capable.  You’ve grabbed screwdrivers and taken apart some of your battery-operated toys before just to check on the batteries.  It amazes me the things you don’t even need to be taught to do.  You just absorb as you spend time with us.

One of your very most favorite things to do continues to be hiking in the woods near our house.  When the weather cooperates we will go out there, grab a walking sticks, and hike down the winding paths.  You like to name the giant trees we walk past.  You talk pretty much the whole time so we don’t see a lot of wildlife.  You love to throw sticks in the creek.  I love spending time with you and having you by my side.

This year you started preschool.  You go three afternoons a week.  It feels very strange for me to drop you off and then not have you with me for those few hours that day.  You enjoy school and have some sweet friends.  You are learning and growing all the time.  And I am learning too how to do things without having you in my shadow.  I’m always a little bit relieved when I can pick you up and hear all about your day.  It just feels better to have you with me.

You still reach for my hand when we are walking somewhere together.  You still crawl up in my lap in the early mornings and want to snuggle.  You still give me big hugs and the best smiles.  Only every great once in a while do your arms reach up for me to hold you.  And I always give in and hoist you up.  These days when I can hold you in my arms like this are fleeting.  You are growing fast.  You are growing well.  And though you look a bit small next to older kids, you are so strong and healthy. 

Probably every time we are in the car and it is just the two of us I will find a moment when you are quiet and I will tell you, “I love you, Hunter.”  I want you to hear it.  I want you to see it.  I want you to feel it.  I want you to be surrounded by it.  You are so very loved by so many people.  You are a bright spot in our days.

I still wonder idly about your future sometimes.  I wonder if you will love a certain sport.  I wonder if you will be a good student, a great musician, a marvelous artist.  I wonder what your voice will sound like when you get to be one of those “big kids”.  I hope you will always know what a special place you have in my heart.  Know that these past five years with you have been so very dear to me.  You have challenged me and changed me in many ways – often for the better.  I’m not quite sure how to keep letting go of you.  I’d find it impossible to do if it weren’t for a Heavenly Father who promises me He will never let you go.  I hope you cling to Him just as tightly too.  Somehow I will find the strength to let you go to kindergarten and eventually even to first grade.  I’ll put that brave smile on my face and send you off promising you that you will have just the best time.  All the while I’ll be thinking of your chubby baby cheeks and that first night in the hospital when all you could do was stare at my face.  We’ve had just the best first five years of your life, Hunter.  And I’m excited to see all of your tomorrows.  What a gift – all of this time with you. 

I love you so!

Love,

Mom