Hard Time

You know how you hear all the time that you should back up your files every so often?  I've heard it and heard it and heard it and always sort of thought "yeah, that's a good idea."  But I never did it.  And now I am sorry.

Friday night, my hard drive bit the dust.  I've done a pretty good job uploading pictures frequently, so though I lost a folder of "Keepers" (which are also uploaded to shutterfly), I'm not panicking about that right now.

It's the documents that are giving me small panic attacks.

I write.  I write frequently.  I write much more frequently than what I post online.  I have a significant amount of material just sitting on that busted hard drive that I was saving for later. 

Particularly, there is one document I typed up just weeks after Hunter's birth where I jotted down things I didn't want to forget.  Every time I think of not having that document I get a little (or a lot) teary. 

When I write, I feel such a sense of relief.  It's like I have all these thoughts and emotions and when I write them out then my mind can rest.  I don't have to worry about remembering all those thoughts - they are on paper and therefore safe for me to forget about for a time.

Except they aren't really truly on paper.  I never printed them.  I never backed up the files.  So we are waiting to see if any of the material can be saved without costing us more than the actual computer.

By the grace of God, I had saved a copy of two books I wrote on Brian's computer.  So at least those aren't gone.

Still, tonight finds me praying desperately that we hear some good news in the next few days.

This was a hard lesson to learn.