Recovering

I don't know exactly where to begin, but the title of "recovering" seemed the best way to describe the past several months. 

I will admit that when I left the hospital with my new little baby boy, I was struggling with some big emotions.  I was thrilled to have my little guy in my arms, healthy and strong.  I was very happy to be done being pregnant.  And yet, I was sad.  I knew this was our last baby and dealing with that was hard sometimes.  I was struggling to treasure up memories and let go all at the same time. 

But now, several weeks later I can look back with a peaceful heart and see how God was so good to me during the past 8 weeks. 

For starters, my Mom was here to take care of the girls for the first few days Hunter and I were home.  She took great care of the girls and gave them some much-needed attention since I was busy with the baby. 

And then there was our church.  We got meals from so many people and it was a relief to not have to worry about supper.

It seems silly to say so, but the biggest surprise to me was the love and care I got from my friends.  I mean, I know I have great friends.  But I felt so incredibly blessed by them with their meals, baby gifts, conversation, hugs, etc.  I went through it all thinking, someday when I have the chance to do something for them, I am going to remember how great they were to me!  And it really inspired me to pay it forward. 

This weekend we baptized Hunter and it was a wonderful celebration.  We were so happy to be surrounded by so many church members, family members and good friends.  It was wonderful to have so much help with the baptism lunch afterward.  I left the day feeling like we had just been so supported through it by so many.

And I realized yesterday that my heart has really healed so much in 8 weeks and that has been because so many have loved us so well.  It's so easy to get stuck in my own little world.  I so often forget to do those little extra things for others.  But I've been on the receiving end now and for some reason this time it made me feel extremely comforted.  I let a lot of stuff go - I said no to things I couldn't handle right now - I relaxed my normal standards a bit here and there - I gave myself permission to not get it all done and to be less than perfect.  All of that because the people around me have given me time and space to adjust and recover. 

I feel at ease.  I feel like this is all very good.  I feel like the little struggles here and there aren't going to do me in.  I feel hopeful and joyful and peaceful.  I feel whole.  And I can't help but think that's because so many have given a little piece of themselves to me.