Struggling

I’m struggling to process stories of violence in other areas of the world. Violence we don’t hear about or see on t.v. because we’ve given up. It seems so hopeless. So much pain. So much strife. So much suffering that we can’t really understand and to even know about it upsets us. I’m struggling.

I'm struggling to process the reports of a mother who attempted a murder suicide in my state. She and her 7 year old son survived. Her two year old son didn't. And I cannot fathom without a great deal of heartache what that poor little boy thought just before he passed away. Its unbearable. I'm struggling.

I’m struggling to process a bad verdict in an adoption case that we got at work. It makes no sense. And while I have a better appreciation for the justice system than most, today I just don’t think they got it right. So much heartache and so much selfishness. I’m struggling.

I’m struggling to process a story I read on news websites about a school collapsing and hundreds of children are buried in the rubble. I let my imagination wander and I see images of frantic parents, trapped children, desperate rescue workers. And I can’t fathom their fear and pain. I’m struggling.

I’m struggling to see how God can be so big to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, and yet care enough about me to stoop down and pick me up as well. Me, with my ridiculous worries, unprompted fears, and selfish attitudes and thoughts. I’m struggling to see how my very small unimportant “problems” really deserve any time or consideration. I’m struggling.

But the good news is, He isn’t.

I Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.