Rockstar

A few years ago I went to a really good concert in Kansas City. Okay, it wasn't really good - it was absolutely AWESOME. Words cannot describe. But that isn't going to stop me.

I went with a couple friends and we got there incredibly early. Apparently much too early. We had hours to sit around and do nothing. We found our seats which were in the second row. Good seats. Seats that explain my hearing loss. Still good seats. Since almost no one was there we sit in the front row, center and watch the roadies set up the stage. It wasn't long before familiar looking people were wandering around on the stage. Turns out it was the band Third Day. With slightly stunned and geeky star-struck expressions we watched them sound check. They practiced a brand new song - so new the lead singer (Mac) had to have the words on a tattered sheet of paper on the stage, held down with his foot. It was a pretty awesome experience. Almost like a personal concert. I smiled like a fool for most of the rest of the weekend.

It was finally time for the show to start. The people with the seats in front of us never show up so we move up. We sit through a few icky opening bands. The bands got progressively better. Jeremy Camp (reason I was there) opened for Third Day. He was excellent. Then the main event - Third Day. Mac comes out and starts singing this song:

"Rockstar"

I wanna be a rock star
But, I ain't got what it takes
The drive and the determination
And the lucky breaks
I wanna be a rock star
But, I ain't got the face
I wanna be a rock star
But, I ain't got what it takes

Seeing my face up on the TV
Hearing my songs on the radio
People waiting all day in line to see me
Doing my pose for Rolling Stone

Well, it's alright, yeah it's alright

Living lifestyles of the rich and famous
Turning all heads in the music scene
Flying in my own jet plane to Vegas
Riding in a big black limousine

Well, it's alright, yeah it's alright

No, I ain't got nothing
But, to you I'm something
Something so much more

Right around the first chorus, he comes over, sees me, recognizes me as that goofus who attended their practice, points at me, and sings. This seems hard to believe, I know. But he did. I have photographic proof as well as two witnesses. Unreal.

As totally geeky and outrageous as this may sound, for years I wanted to be a rockstar of sorts. And maybe, a small part of me still thinks that would be really fun. Some of it would be fun. But in truth, that isn't what I was created to do. I love to sing and I love love love singing with a band. That's when I really feel totally at peace. The drums click off, the guitars start, and my nervousness evaporates. But it isn't for others.

Contrary to what it may seem, this obsession with bands and singing is not about "performing". I actually sincerely hate that word. Some of my most favorite moments have happened in my church, empty pews laid out in front of me, a band playing behind me, singing and playing for our God. Only our God.

Rockstars are these people that make [some of] us stop in our tracks. They are the people that walk on stage and make me stop, sit down, and listen to them soundcheck. They are human. They are no better than me. But they are this medium that brings God's music and His message to me. They have a certain amount of celebrity. And a large amount of responsibility. How is it that to Him, I am so much more? How is that when I walk onto a stage, God stops, sits down, and smiles? I can't fathom that kind of love for me. But I know this - I'd rather sing for that Audience of One every day of my life than do anything else on earth.