I'm not bragging...I'm just thankful

I realize this will totally jinx everything, but I just have to tell you that my child, who seemingly never needed sleep, has given us a mighty gift. For the past 3 nights, she has slept beautifully. I take no credit because I had nothing to do with it. We've done nothing out of the normal. No special formula, food, bedtime ritual, nothing. She simply eats her bottle at approximately 8:30/9:00. We snuggle her and cuddle her for 5 minutes, she rubs her face on our shoulder (Reagan-eese for I'm tired put me to bed), we tuck her in, give her her pacifier, she smiles at us, we say goodnight, dim the lights, walk out of the room. And that's that. She slowly, quietly talks herself to sleep. The best part of all that is we don't have to go back into her room until at least 4 or 5 in the morning to put her pacifier back in so she can sleep till 7. Once I had to wake her up so we could get to daycare/work on time. Most of the time, when I peer in over the rail in the morning, she is awake, kicking her legs, perfectly happy. I say something like "Well hello there!" and she smiles and laughs. I would love to wake up that happy. Actually, lately, I have been waking up that happy. We had gotten quite used to this sleep-walking stroll to the crib every 2 hours or less. All she really needed was her pacifier, but it gets tiring to be up that much. We recently made a deal that I am on pacifier duty till 3AM and Hubby is on from 3AM - 7AM. As you can see, as of late, this has really worked out well for me.

Generally speaking, Reagan is not a terror. She is cute and she is fun. Sometimes I might say things like "I really enjoy time alone" but I do enjoy time with her too. However, it has been a long road. Those who have had experience with colicky babies can probably relate. Its exhausting. I see new moms who talk about how tired they are and then in the next breath say that their non-colicky baby sleeps about 20 hours a day and I have to stifle a laugh. Sometimes they even complain about how fussy they are as their babies gently cry. I smile nicely...seeing their innocence plainly. Babies with colic are a trial. They're worth it, but they are a trial. My baby didn't cry, she screamed. I look back on the many many nights when we simply held Reagan while she SCREAMED, for hours on end. Often, she would appear to be completely asleep and then out of the blue, scream till she was almost purple. Those days, those nights have become a blurry spot in our memory. I'm not saying Reagan was the fussiest baby on earth. I'm just saying she was one that required a lot of extra effort from us - moreso than normal. Moreso than we ever dreamed. And as the weeks go by, she has been easier and easier to live with. Yesterday was a good day. She played nicely for quite a while, she sat in her swing without complaint, she enjoyed listening to my CDs (my baby likes loud music, shocker), she took good naps, she smiled and gazed around on our evening walk, she splashed pleasantly through her bath, she ate well, she slept beautifully. Sure there were one or two fits...okay more than one or two - but I can so handle small fits compared to the 3 or 4 hour marathon screaming sessions that haunted us months ago.

I was careful not to set my expectations too high for being a mom. People would always ask "Are you ready?" and I would respond "Is anyone ever ready?" No. I tried very hard not to "picture" what my life would be like once Reagan was here. I knew I really had no idea what I was in for. And I was right. I didn't. (Yes, I absolutely would have done it all again.) As hard as I tried not to have high expectations, I certainly had some hopes for how life would go. I knew it wouldn't be perfect. I knew it wouldn't ever be the same. I knew this little person was going to throw me for a loop. But last night, I realized that our day had fit in a little more with what I had dreamed of before Reagan's arrival. I'm glad we hung on and hung loose so we could survive the bad times...and love the good times.