Its a funny feeling when...

One day you realize that the life-change you have been aware of and planning for is well on its way.

I remember when hubby and I got married and were driving to our honeymoon destination. It was the day after our wedding. We were filling up the gas tank and buying lunch at a small gas station when it hit me full in the face as I scanned the over-priced items on the gas station shelves - we were married. That man out there cleaning the windshield was my husband. Other customers wondered why that blonde girl was staring at the Lucky Charms priced at $4.95 with a big silly grin on her face. I was overcome with emotions of wifely care-taking. I felt the need to find some very sustaining food and provide for my husband. I was looking my future in the face. I had planned for it. I knew it was coming. I knew it was what I wanted. But I didn’t know exactly what this new definition of life-as-I-knew-it would be.

I was in a meeting this weekend wherein they were choosing/requesting volunteers for an October/November time frame. And then it struck me, I can’t do that. I can’t volunteer for that time frame. I might as well have been staring at a $4.95 box of Lucky Charms because that big silly grin returned. I even turned to the guy next to me and said "I can’t do it!" as if that were a big achievement. I’ll be decidedly busy come November. I’ll be busy learning a new definition of life-as-I-know-it. I knew it was coming. I knew it was what I wanted. I am in the process of planning for it. But now, instead of a date far off on the calendar, it feels like the future is imminent.

A lot of people, hubby included, do not share my sense of fast approaching change. To them it is still a "ways off". And while the truly logical side of me agrees with them, the side of me that anticipates the amount of change on the way feels a strong sense of need-to-prepare. I am torn between two questions. Can one start too early preparing for the arrival of a much-anticipated baby? Can one ever really prepare enough (mentally, spiritually, emotionally)?