Twenty-six Years Ago

No parent really has any idea what they are in for when they have their first child. And in my case, I am sure my parents have come to that realization countless times.

I was so sick when I was born. I spent the first many weeks of my life in hospitals - three different hospitals. I took my first ride in an ambulance and my first (hopefully last) life-flight. I doubt they expected any of that.

I spent most of my childhood being fiercely independent and somewhat bossy. My brother arrived when I was around 4 or 5. He claimed the roll of "victim of my play". Did you know that everytime I hit Tom and made him cry I would tell you "I don’t know. He fell." That worked countless times. I went to school and spent the next several years of my life chasing the little boys in my class. There were no girls. I learned how to throw a spiral (football) and played sports that were too rough for little girls. I picked up snakes and was fascinated by "gross" things. Somewhere in this time frame Amy arrived and I discovered I knew nothing about being a big sister to a GIRL! She loved dolls. I hated them. I hated math. I loved writing. I discovered I could sing. I doubt they expected any of that.

High school was a time of trying to balance who I wanted to be and who I really was. The trouble was that I didn’t really know who I was at that age so it was a constant guessing game. I made some hard choices. Some of them were right. Some of them weren’t. I did not have the best high school experience - often feeling left-out or looked-down upon. But I never gave up. I got very good grades despite the fact that I am not a natural scholar like my brother. I tried hard in sports despite the fact that I am not a natural athlete like my sister. Fortunately for me, and for them, I was first in line. They were much more impressive than me. My only real claim to fame was my singing. I had some bumpy roads. Some broken hearts. Some glorious moments. Some people appreciated and loved me for the oddball I am. Others were afraid and just backed away. I doubt they expected any of that.

College was my moment in the sun. My first year presented many challenges. My first mistake was thinking that I had made all of the hard decisions in life and now I would just be able to coast right on through the rest. So to balance out all the trouble, God gave me incredible, sweet friends who filled my life with 2 years of memories that I still smile and laugh about today. And I discovered that my happiness is not dependent on anyone other than myself. Musically I was part of a choir that taught me some of God’s greatest beauty is in a person’s voice. I was humbled to be among the ranks of such beautiful singers. I was honored to be chosen to be one of them. I was blessed beyond my greatest expectations. I lost everything I wanted, and I gained everything I ever dreamed of. I watched as God took all the broken pieces of my world and started putting them together in one beautiful mosaic. I doubt they expected any of that.

I had the brains to marry someone wonderful. I have spent the last five years thankful every single day for the gift that he is to me. I have seen you grow to love him as though he was one of your own. I have watched you raise 2 other children who completely amaze and thrill all of us. I have seen you go through every trial with grace. I’ve been watching.

So many times I must have made you scratch your head, wondering where I got all my quirks, wondering how I learned something, wondering why I am the way I am - good and bad. And so many times you must have just shrugged and said "Oh well. We didn’t expect any of this but God will make it work out." I have news for you. I know exactly why I am the way I am - and its because of you. Its often said we blame our parents for the way we turn out - and I completely subscribe to that theory. I am certainly not perfect. I am certainly not a finished product. I am definitely a work in progress. But you gave the tools and the love and the faith to handle all the things that life has thrown my way. The best parts of me come straight from you. I look back at 26 years and I think I had the greatest childhood, the greatest family, the greatest life - not because I have gotten through unscathed - but because it has been filled with you. I am thankful I spent a lifetime with you, learning and becoming me. I am thankful you were faithful enough to see me through it - even when you had doubts. I am thankful that out of all the people in the world God choose the two of you to be my parents.